Mailing Collection William S. Wilson
Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.
—Paul Coelho (via lovemorefearless)
(Source: thelittlephilosopher, via lovemorefearless)
Let the waves of the universe rise and fall as they will. You have nothing to gain or lose. You are the ocean.
—Ashtavakra Gita (via lovemorefearless)
(Source: daytripped, via lovemorefearless)
How do people not realize that Republicans are evil?
Say What Now of the Day: Fox Business Network host Lou Dobbs picks up the “liberals in Hollywood are indoctrinating children” mantle of his colleague Eric Bolling, and “exposes” the despicable pro-being-nice-to-others-and-caring-about-the-world agenda of Studio Ghibli’s The Secret World of Arrietty and Illumination Entertainment’s adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax.
[mm / cartoonbrew.]
(Source: thedailywhat)
I’ve taken to writing down notes for daily necessities in a little teal notebook I keep with me at all times.
I also write down thoughts.
The first three pages of this I wrote when I was particularly frustrated. A younger friend of mine has been coming to me way too much recently to talk about her boy problems. She currently has her first boyfriend, who she met twice before he went back to Mississippi because he is stationed there. It’s been two months and they already say they love each other and all that shit. It’s crazy, and she’s obsessed with another guy here in Athens.
Anyway. I was getting tired of hearing her talk about that, and then had to read the most ridiculous Chinese love play for class- called Peony Pavilion. Basically a 15 year old girl has a sex dream, falls in love with the man in her dream so much that she pines away for him until she dies. Before she dies she paints a self-portrait and places it in the garden where they had sex in her dream (the real garden of course). Two years later he comes across it, her spirit visits him, he digs up her grave (and she’s preserved by “love”) and comes back to life and they live happily ever after.
BULLSHIT.
But that’s the play I’m talking about.
The fourth page is even more badly written. I wrote it today after listening to too much Fiona Apple. I think I’ve become love-disabled.
I don’t want to be a feminist anymore.
I don’t want to be a feminist anymore. Like a five-year-old, I want to close my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears, stomp my feet on the floor and scream “No! No, you cannot make me, I won’t, leave me alone!” I am, simply put, too tired. So very, very tired.
I am tired of fighting with my friends. I am tired of arguing that someone groping and slapping my butt isn’t “what I have to expect”, just because I’m at a bar, and the one attacking my butt has a drink in the other hand. I am tired of hearing “boys will be boys” and “when you’re dressed like that …” and “that’s just what guys do”. I am tired of trying to drown those sentiments in loud, repetitive no’s, screamed over and over again, till my throat is sore and my voice weak – just to hear them repeated, as soon as exhaustion threatens to silence me.
I am tired of being afraid. I am tired of seeing someone writing something offensive, sexist, racist, ageist, ableist, somewhere online. I am tired of seeing those writings getting likes and lol’s, and SO TRUE’s. I am tired of being consumed by confusion and anger, typing, typing, typing and typing a seemingly endless response, including research, links and statistics, and then hesitate clicking “submit”. I am tired of knowing that I hesitate because I am afraid of the flood of responses that will come. I am tired of knowing that I will be bombarded with lighten up’s, stop whining’s and get a sense of humor’s for so long, that I will start to wonder if I am indeed wound up too tight, a nagger and humorless. I am tired of the fact that I’m afraid of being called a cunt, even though I don’t find genitalia insulting or demeaning.
I am tired of being told. I am tired of being told that “a key that unlocks many locks is a good key, but that a lock that can be unlocked by many keys is a bad lock”. I am tired of the fact that nobody who says this has ever been able to tell me what it is that needs to be locked up. I am tired of being told “your boobs are awesome, you should show them of “. I am tired of being told that “that looks a little slutty”. I am tired of being told that I shouldn’t be a prude, but I shouldn’t be slutty. I am tired of that nobody seems to be able to explain how to do so. I am tired of being told that I can just say no, and I am tired of being told “come on, you know you want to”.
I am tired of being told “But we HAVE equality!”I am tired of being asked. I am tired of being asked if I’m a lesbian or if I was raped. I am tired of being asked if daddy didn’t treat me right. If I was in an abusive relationship. If I was beaten. If I grew up with a single mother. If I don’t like sex. I am sick and tired of being asked “But, why are you a feminist, then?” I am tired of being asked why I wear make-up. Why I wear a bra. Why I wear skirts and dresses. Why I flirt with men. Why I shave my legs. I am tired of asking “why do you ask me this?” and hearing the answer “because real feminists are against those things, aren’t they?”
Most of all, I am tired of knowing. Knowing that my eyes have been opened, and that what has been seen cannot be unseen. I am tired of knowing it, when I see something that is wrong. I am tired of knowing that only speaking out can change it. I am tired of knowing exactly how hard and scary it can be to do so. I am tired of knowing that if I am not careful, the fight will eat up my hope and strength, and leave me only with bitterness. I am tired of knowing that I can never turn back to not knowing. I am tired of knowing that despite my fears and exhaustion, I am a feminist.
No, I don’t want to be a feminist anymore – today.
Tomorrow? Tomorrow I think I’ll try again.I still want to be a feminist, but I have been overwhelmed with frustrations like these so many times. A cathartic read.
Suheir Hammad- Def Poetry
I’m so glad I’m taking women studies because I get to watch and think about things like this.
But I don’t really like listening to the freshmen’s thoughts about these things… you know what I mean.
Body Positivity, Part Two
This semester I purchased a pass for the “Mind Body” classes at our fitness center, meaning for $80 I can go to any of the classes teaching multiple variations of yoga and pilates that are offered daily.
It has been awesome! I’ve gone the past five weeks for at least five and up to seven days a week! I’ve been feeling so much stronger and flexible and I’ve already noticed I’m feeling more at home in my body.
On Saturday this past weekend I went swimming and in the ladies locker room there is a scale so I thought I would check it out. I’ve lost 7 lbs in 5 weeks! At first I was pretty excited.
Then when I was telling people I was kind of taken aback by some various reactions. Some were very positive reactions- a guy friend at the restaurant I work at kept telling me I look amazing. But he kept saying things like that so much that I eventually thought “Hey… didn’t I look good before?”
The even more pronounced reaction I’m thinking of came from one of my very blunt girlfriends, who is so sweet and never means to be taken as caustic- she’s just very frank sometimes. She said “Wow! That means you’ve lost a lot of fat, since you’re building muscle too.”
This is a true statement, but also the way it was put… I thought “I had a lot of fat…?”
But in the end, it’s all just NUMBERS!
What really makes me happy is feeling how strong I’ve gotten, in my back and everywhere. How I can practically touch my nose to my knees now in forward bend (and I couldn’t even touch my TOES with my fingertips in high school!) and how I don’t collapse out of plank position anymore.
And also for the discipline that I’ve been maintaining. I’ve always made plans to go to the gym on a regular basis but this is a record for me!
Hope everyone is loving their bodies, not matter what shape they’re in. We’re all beautiful people!
Opens Tonight, Feb 9, 6-8p:
”Mixed Signals”
Garrett Pruter
Charles Bank Gallery, 196 Bowery, NYC (at Spring St)
Using discarded photos from junk stores, estate sales, and old magazines, Pruter enlarges found images and then slices and reassembles the fragments to create new imagery that blurs the line between what is real and what is imagined. For this new body of work, Pruter introduces his recent exploration of multimedia. Drawing on the walls with fractured reflections, the projector and mirror installation continues with the same visual language used in his works on paper. The multimedia installation contains found 35mm slides that are projected onto curved mirror tiles, fragmenting the images into myriad pieces and creating complex compositions out of intimate travel photographs and family portraits. - thru Mar 14
This is perfect. I just saw Louis CK’s stand up for the first time recently and the more I saw the more I thought “we would totally be friends.”
(Source: dickbustin, via sashanako)
I want to be this woman someday.
A Heart On Fire: Four Reminders
My yoga teacher read this to us at the beginning of class yesterday. I am beginning to feel very spiritual about my yoga. And I thought these words were really great.
Here are four reminders about the way things are, may they bring you peace!
- Everything will change, every idea you have about yourself will die in time. All attainments are imaginary.
- What will happen will happen, your only choice is to relax. Peace is natural, suffering requires thinking.
- You…
